[There's a much more important post below this one - please scroll past this drivel and read it. Thanks!]YAY! The Oscars! I shall live-blog them.
Red Carpet:
8:01 I LOVE Tim Gunn. SO much. Hi Kate Winslet! Ok dress.
8:03 Oy! Nice highlights, Matthew Broderick.
8:04 I've never heard of this Taraji P Henson gal, but she's sure cute and super excited! Also, don't you think it's so neat when the old dudes bring their shy daughters as their date? Adorable.
8:06 Seriously? Miley Cyrus at the Oscars? Isn't there a mob of pre-teens she ought to be entertaining right now?
8:11 I'm not sure these Slumdog Millionaire folks are going to be able to handle any more excitement. They may have reached their limit.
8:15 Tim Gunn, can you please be my friend? You even manage to class up this stupid red carpet banter with your fancy vocabulary.
8:21 Don't you think Meryl Streep would be fun to hang out with? I do.
Ceremony
8:32 That's funny. Pizza boxes and foil. You know what's not funny? Hugh Jackman's vibrato.
8:34 Wow, HJ totally kept up with those hiphop dancers!
8:36 Dang, Anne Hathaway can actually sing! And she looks really good, too.
8:37 That bit about HJ not seeing The Reader was REALLY funny. Awesome opening!
8:43 Best Supporting Actress (good Lord, is every award going to take this long to present?) - my pick: Marisa Tomei. The winner: Penelope Cruz. Didn't see the movie.
8:54 Best Original Screenplay (Tina Fey and Steve Martin are so stinking funny!) - my pick: WALL-E. The winner: Milk. Didn't see it.
8:59 Best Adapted Screenplay - my pick: Slumdog Millionaire. The winner: Slumdog Millionaire.
9:03 Enough filler, people. Move it along! Best Animated Feature - my pick: WALL-E. The winner: WALL-E!! Saw it, loved it, own it. You should too.
9:08 Best Animated Short - my pick: Oktapodi. The winner: La Maison de frenchy french words. Never heard of it or seen it. Apparently it is by some Japanese dude. I love it so much when Japanese people speak English. I'm not making fun of them AT ALL, it's just so fun to listen to. I knew a lot of Japanese people when I lived in Alabama - trust me, they think it's funny too. He ended his speech with "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto." That is flipping awesome.
9:15 Best Art Direction - my pick: The Dark Knight. The winner: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Didn't see it. Want to.
9:19 Best Costume Design - my pick: The Duchess. The winner: The Duchess. Didn't see it, but picked it because it looked the most costumey. I'm VERY scientific.
9:23 Best Makeup - my pick: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The winner: Benjamin Button. Duh, they have to make Brad Pitt age in reverse. That's hard, y'all.
9:31 Best Cinematography - my pick: Slumdog Millionaire. Oh dear, I love the Joaquin Phoenix impression, Ben Stiller. The winner: Slumdog Millionaire.
9:38 Jessica Biel's dress is perfect. Perfectly AWFUL.
9:40 Here's a commercial for The Soloist. I am SO looking forward to that movie.
9:46 Best Live Action Short - my pick: New Boy (total guess) The winner: Toyland.
9:52 Musical interlude... I think HJ should have just stopped these things after the opening. Leave 'em wanting more, I always say. Hey look, it's Beyonce. NOT a flattering outfit, honey.
10:02 Best Supporting Actor - my pick: Heath Ledger. SO good, so scary, so sad. The winner: Heath Ledger. Bravo.
10:13 Best Documentary Feature - my pick: Trouble The Water. The winner: Man on Wire. No theatres ever show these things around here, so I have no basis for judgement except the Time magazine article I read about them.
10:16 Best Documentary Short Subject - my pick: The Conscience of Nhem En. The winner: Smile Pinki.
10:26 Best Visual Effects - my pick: The Dark Knight. The winner: Benjamin Button? WHAT?
10:28 Best Sound Editing - my pick: WALL-E. The winner: The Dark Knight. Okay. Fine.
(So far I'm only 6 for 15. I clearly have my finger on the pulse of cinema.)
10:30 Best Sound Mixing - my pick: WALL-E. The winner: Slumdog Millionaire. Those crazy kids are tearing it up!
10:33 Best Film Editing - my pick: The Dark Knight. The winner: what a flipping surprise! Slumdog Millionaire!
10:41 Special award to Jerry Lewis. SNOOZE.... Thank heavens his speech was short!
10:53 Best Original Score - my pick: Slumdog Millionaire (although I WANT WALL-E to win.) The winner: Slumdog Millionaire.
10:55 Best Original Song - my pick: Down to Earth from WALL-E. The presentation of the three nominees is just gorgeous. I am sad Peter Gabriel didn't want to perform, but who doesn't love John Legend? The winner: Jai Ho, Slumdog Millionaire.
11:06 Best Foreign Language Film - my pick: Departures. The winner: Departures! What a lucky guess!
11:13 In Memoriam... I wish they just played pretty music instead of having Queen Latifah sing that morbid song.
11:18 Best Director - my pick: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire. The winner: Danny Boyle.
11:25 Best Lead Actress - my pick: Kate Winslet. The winner: Kate Winslet. It's about durn time!
11:36 Best Lead Actor - my pick: Mickey Rourke. The winner: Sean Penn. Meh.
11:47 Best Picture - my pick: Slumdog Millionaire. The winner: Slumdog Millionaire. I guess I should actually see this movie now!
My fingers are exhausted - all this time I've also been chatting on facebook with
Amy. We were less kind than you might hope us to be about some of the dresses. Forgive us. Good night!