book 6

Earlier this week I finished the novel Everything by Kevin Canty.  The story revolves mainly around two people, RL and June, friends who are grieving the loss of Taylor, June’s husband and RL’s best friend.  It takes place in Montana and the scenery is gorgeous in its descriptions.  This book was kind of “meh.”  It definitely rambles all over the place. And, Canty doesn’t use quotation marks to set off speech, a practice which drives me totally bonkers.  There are only a few books I’ve started and not completed (coughDombey&Soncough), but that’s exactly what led me not to finish Cold Mountain.  I really enjoyed the movie and had heard that the book was just phenomenal.  I couldn’t get past the first few chapters due to the lack of quotation marks.  I know, it’s a style choice, but BLEH.

Henry had a random stomach virus which woke us up at 2:30am Tuesday.  That was fun.  Fortunately he kept that gift to himself.  He had no school Monday from the holiday, and has no school tomorrow for teacher in-service, so he only went 2 days this week.  It was the easiest green week he ever had.  Tonight at dinner he stated (with great force) “I need a DRINK!”  Son, after that night of sick, you don’t even know how many times I thought that in my own head.

Now Maria’s got a nice head cold.  I wrote on FB earlier today about how I defied the AAP’s restrictions on giving cold/cough medicines to children under age 6.  I think the claim that they are not effective is doubtful, considering she went from completely lethargic, feverish, and mopey with no appetite back to nearly her normal self within an hour of getting 1/2 tsp of Robitussin and 1 tsp of ibuprofen.  See, parents can be trusted use their judgment and to give their children an appropriate dose.  No need to take the products off the shelves in hysteria, AAP.

in which I pay untold sums of money for a pinwheel, part two

Read part one here.

I took Maria and her very expensive pinwheel over to our new children’s hospital outpatient clinic for her x-ray.  On the way there I called Timon asking him to bring another diaper to me, along with her ssn.  We got checked in and Maria enjoyed the very thoughtfully designed waiting room.  Before Timon could even get there and park, we’d been brought back and had the x-ray done.  Maria only got a little upset, probably because she was shirtless and had her legs strapped down with me holding her hands above her head.  I haven’t had an x-ray in a very, very long time, and I was amazed at how things have changed – it was so quick!

A few hours later Maria’s pediatrician called with the results of the x-ray.  She has a cloudy area on her right lung, and the doctor wanted to start treating her with antibiotics and continue the nebulizer.  We were to call back Thursday (today) if she still had fever. 

Wednesday night she had a nebulizer treatment and a bath, and had a 104* temp, along with a racing heartrate and jittery behavior.  It wasn’t pretty.

She woke up this morning with 103* temp.  This time when we took her to the doctor we were smart enough to bring our own stinkin’ nebulizer and mask so that we wouldn’t get charged for yet another one, since our insurance is so very wonderful.  The doctor took her pulse ox, using a device Timon marveled at repeatedly.  She also listened to Maria’s chest for quite a while, and Maria cooperated much more helpfully than she had Tuesday.  Dr. Lisa still hears rattling and crackling in Maria’s lungs, even after an in-office nebulizer.  She gave her a shot in the rear of antibiotics and we’re supposed to watch her and call tomorrow to let her know how the fever is. 

So, that’s where we are.  Currently Maria is whiny but walking around with her blanket and Curious George doll.  We’ll see what happens next.

in which I pay untold sums of money for a pinwheel, part one

Sunday I bragged to people that I’d never had reason to take my kids to the hospital or ER, other than whilst in-utero in the process of being evicted from my innards.  Let me tell you how that’s all turned out.

Soooo, Maria’s pretty sick.  She had low fever Saturday that I attributed to the fact that she’s always got her fingers in her mouth these days – so when are you gonna get those canine teeth, sweet girl?  Sunday morning we didn’t check her temp – she didn’t seem super feverish.  After her nap, though, she was burning up.  As in ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR POINT TWO DEGREES burning up.  And then I called Jen to cancel our farewell visit. *sob*

Monday I stayed home with mah baybee, hoping she would snap out of it.  Alas, when she woke up from a nap with 103* (let’s just assume the asterisk after a number in a post about fevers means the same thing as that little superscript circle we all learned in 4th grade, hmmm, shall we?) fever I called the pediatrician to get us in first thing Tuesday morning.  Well, not first thing, you all can fairly assume that I showered, dressed, and had Henry ready and dropped off to school before we went to the doctor.  We were whisked into an exam room before our appointed time (LOVE) and Maria stood on a big person’s scale for the first time – 24lbs.  The doctor came in and Maria got a little squirrely, but she was able to check her ears, throat, and listen to her chest.  Ears: clear.  Throat: red.  Lungs: rattling.  (“Mr. Bones feels rattlin’!  Ha, ha, that’s a good one.  Tell a little story, Mr. Bones!  A funny little story, Mr. Bones!”  NAME THE MOVIE) I agree to a strep test, a urine test, and a nebulizer treatment.  Strep: negative.  Urine: not great, but not abnormal for a person with a fever.  Nebulizer: not unlike wrestling a sackfull of bobcats.  Lungs: still rattling.  The doctor chooses her words carefully to tell me she thinks Maria needs a chest x-ray.  Before that though, she wants to see if Maria will blow a pinwheel while she listens with a stethoscope so that she can more thoroughly assess her lung function.  Not a chance, Maria thinks.  Of course, I’d love to drop some sweet cash on some more medical tests, Maresi thinks.

Stay tuned for part two.

invisible, pt. two

Here’s more of my mother’s account of my foot issues (to read pt. one, click here)

Newington orthopedists asked the same questions we’d answered many times over many weeks – any kind of injury, on the playground, gym class, at home? They x-rayed your foot yet again. They did do two things – one, prescribed Motrin 800 mg each three times a day to help relieve inflammation in your foot, (Those pills were HUGE.)  and, two, they put a cast on your foot up to your knee to help retrain it to normal position. We had several appointments at Newington over a couple of months. Although you’d had no injury to your foot, they suspected that you had a condition that often follows an injury – Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. They explained that we have sympathetic nerves that sometimes react but don’t shut off after an injury, that the nerve in your foot could be inflamed and painful because the sympathetic nerve was on for some undetermined reason. At each subsequent appointment (can’t remember how many, maybe 3 – 5), they removed the cast to examine your foot for pain and for position. I think you had 3 casts over about 6 weeks. (I only remember two – one was white plaster which broke apart on the bottom and we taped it together until my next appointment!  The next one was pink fiberglass, they had just come out with the colored casts.)  The third treatment was, after the final cast, to have physical therapy which we were fortunately able to have at the Winsted Hospital. Remember that top floor solarium? I don’t remember every therapeutic procedure but do remember you needing to put one foot into a whirlpool while they used ultrasound on your foot.  (And EVERY.SINGLE.TIME, no matter how recently I had used the bathroom, I always had to pee within minutes of sticking my foot in that water.  The therapist would get so annoyed with me.)

You also had some therapy to do at home. You did not like doing it – hold on to the counter while moving from flat footed position to up on your toes, up and down, over and over – it hurt. You were supposed to massage your foot with a dry washcloth. Possibly my favorite was you putting your foot into a bowl of rice, move it around for a while. The purpose of all these therapies was to stimulate the nerves in your foot, to turn off that sympathetic nerve and thus relieve the pain.

The end of it will come soon, perhaps tomorrow…

diagnosis: SICK.

Here's the scoop:

• I finally had had enough of the coughing, fever, pounding head, blocked nose, etc. and called my doctor at 2:30 yesterday afternoon. He was able to see me at 3:15.
• It's a big deal since our insurance changed for me to go to the doctor. We will have to pay the full fee for the visit, no co-pays anymore. Lovely.
• I have a sinus infection and bronchitis. God bless the Z-pack.
• On my way to the doctor (excuse me for a second while I stray from the real story) I had occasion to shake my fist in the air in irritation with our local Christian radio station. You might know that downhere is my favorite band of all time - I may have mentioned it once or twice before. Well I was surprised to hear their latest single played yesterday afternoon - they sadly don't get much airplay (something that is a total mystery to me). After the song was over, the DJ was saying how downhere's been around a long time, how they are a fun band, and how THEY HAVEN'T HAD MUCH GOING ON LATELY. Um, WRONG. She referred to their "upcoming" album (came out last September) as "The Ending Is The Beginning" - Um, WRONG. Also, she must not have known about their album that came out in May 2007. Or their Christmas album with other labelmates that came out in Dec. 2007. Or their near constant touring. Whatever. Good thing I keep all this in perspective!
• I was WIDE. AWAKE. from 4-7am. It sucked.
• Okay, that's all.
  
  
  

three

It seems Henry has beaten last year's time of the first illness by a week. After another fever spike last night (102.7!) and his complaints of sore throat and headache, a trip to the doctor was in order. He has an ear infection and is on an antibiotic. Maria's 2 month check-up is scheduled for Friday, so we'll follow up then if we need to. It should be a total blast waiting in line to vote with 2 kids. Another first!

4 hours

That's how much sleep I got last night. Full-on insomnia has struck. I made the mistake of taking a nap yesterday after work (about 45 min) and so I was wide awake until 11:30. I felt sleepy, went to bed and then laid there for about an hour before getting up. I didn't make it back to bed until around 3:30. Urg. I'll try my hardest NOT to nap today so I can break the cycle.

I also felt what I am guessing was a real live contraction yesterday. It was not the typical Braxton-Hicks tightening, but more like a cramp lower in the uterus, lasting for about 60 seconds. I wouldn't say I was in tremendous pain, but there was a significant difference between this and a BH. I did practice breathing through it. It was the only one, but I had several more BH later. I've been sitting on an exercise ball sometimes at night while watching tv, rocking back and forth which helps with my restless feet and legs. I can imagine it will be very helpful during labor because my pelvis feels very open when I sit on it (open in a good way, not the painful way it used to when the SPD was really bad).

I got to speak with Timon and Henry from here last night. They went canoeing yesterday with the big group of family members and had a blast. Henry's been enjoying all the good eats up there (basically my favorite part of going on this trip) and has had a few ice cream cones - which give him the amount of joy equivalent to giving me diamonds, basically. He talked to me for about 2 minutes before he said, "Um, Mommy, I want to say goodbye now." I guess he's enjoying himself.

Happy Birthday, Avery!

Happy Trail-aversary, Chad!

100

Looking at my little baby ticker over to the right today lets me know there are only 100 days left until my official due date. I imagine the baby will come after Sept. 14, however. My friend Stanny-poo is pulling for a baby on his birthday, the 13th. Any other guesses?

Two more weeks 'till the ultrasound, and we are really hoping the baby is more cooperative this time. I am feeling some relief from several factors - my belt arrived from the Mars Rover New Zealand yesterday, and I'm still taking one Vicodin at night before bed. However, I'm convinced that the most relief has come from the occasional Aleve that I've taken. My doctor told me that it was not ideal, but it was okay to take Aleve until 28 weeks. I'm not sure what happens in the 24 hours between 27 and 28 weeks that transforms Aleve from a drug whose benefits may outweigh the risks into a drug that may cause birth defects. But I'm certain that the anti-inflammatory part helped the acute symptoms and now it's more under control. It still hurts, but I'm not crying when I get up or turn over or sit anymore.

I've spent the last 24 hours attempting to recover from what will go down in history as the worst youth group event of all time - a disastrous lock-in Wednesday night. Here are just some of the things that went on: an iPod got stolen, and the one kid who seemed the most suspicious snuck out and left at 5:30am, before bags were searched (ALL the other kids happily submitted to search of bags and pockets); kids sneaking out to smoke; food belonging to other church groups being eaten out of the fridge and freezer; outside doors being propped open for their friends to come and go; the snack room looked like a pack of raccoons were set loose in it; and on and on and on. Virtually all of these offenses were committed not by my regular youth group attendees, but by the friends and friends of friends they had invited. My group of kids are for the most part totally awesome, but man, do they have some rude peers. And I had to be somewhat alert all night so I couldn't take my medicine. THANK GOD my (paid this year - woohoo!) summer intern Matt was there. [Chad - I kept picturing that thing you'd do when the youth would pull crap: your eyeglasses would get tossed onto a nearby surface, your head would go down into your hands and while grabbing your face you'd groan and grimace with rage as you resisted the urge to throw them headfirst off the balcony and crush their skulls - all with the love of the Holy Spirit, of course.]

nice things

Today, I'm feeling better. Physically - I slept very well last night, thanks to the Vicodin. While I don't necessarily LOVE the fact that I'm taking a strong narcotic, at least it's one that doesn't give me the crazies. And yes, it's safe, which I know in my head although I freely admit to prodding my stomach this morning to make damn sure baby was still kicking around. In return for this rude awakening s/he has been moving non-stop ever since. I feel like I have more freedom of movement today, although I've taken it very, very easy. My one trip out of the house today was this morning - I forced myself to return two DVDs, and then I thought if I had to be in my house for ONE MORE MINUTE without any fruit to eat, I'd go nuts. So I went to the grocery store and bought cantaloupe, blueberries, apples, and bananas. (And okay, fine, a Reese's PB Cup, too. Whatever.) I started feeling the bad pain on the way home, and so I got here, cut up the cantaloupe and then laid down on the couch to eat some of that and some of the berries. And the peanut butter cup.

Emotionally - As the wise K suggested, I'm putting off thoughts of what this condition will mean for the birth until I can better think it through. And thanks again to the rest of you who've been so kind in your comments. I do feel more focused today, which is nice.

And so, I present some photos of other things that are nice:

It's nice to ride your first big boy bike!


It's nice to have the birthday cake you asked for.


I mean, seriously - have you ever seen anything so nice as this?
(the only possible way to make this nicer would be to have the corn
picked and bought TODAY from here, and cover it with butter,
and for it ALL to be mine.)


And, YAY! Birthdays are SO, SO nice! Happy 6th, ANNA!

talking (okay, typing) it out

I am so terribly sorry for what you're about to read. I truly, truly wish that I had other things to be thinking and posting about. If you're tired of the sob story already, I'll understand if you close the page right now.

If you've stuck around then here goes: If possible, the pain is worse. Driving has become agony. I was in tears all the way to and from the OB's office today. I spent nearly my entire visit in tears. Just when I'd finally gotten myself together and was on my way out of the office, I ran into the sweet nurse who has been kind enough to listen to me when I request that my blood be drawn from my left hand only since any other spot leaves terrible bruising. She is also the one who returns the non-urgent calls to patients like me. She asked if I was okay and I lost it again.

I left the doctor with a confirmation of my SPD self-diagnosis. She gave me a prescription for Vicodin which is totally terrifying to me, despite her reassurances that it's safe. I also don't have a good track record with taking narcotics - Oxycodone left me completely NUTS, made me nauseated, and gave me 2 nights of insomnia. If that doesn't give me some good relief, we will probably explore some physical therapy.

I'm much more concerned with how this will affect the delivery of the baby - I will likely have limited birthing positions available vaginally, and although I was planning on avoiding it, an epidural might mask the pain to where I don't notice if I'm being positioned in a way that could cause serious damage to my pelvis. However, I REALLY REALLY REALLY DO NOT WANT A C-SECTION. (Please, I KNOW that women have them everyday and are FINE. I don't need to be reminded.) This is all stuff I'll have to work through emotionally as the next weeks go by. If you pray, and I hope you do, prayers for physical and emotional healing are really needed right now.

I want to end this by saying that my husband has been so amazing. He has washed every dish, done all of Henry's transportation, gotten up repeatedly to help me get up off the couch (just because I'm in pain doesn't mean my frequent bathroom trips are in any way reduced), rubbed my feet, held me while I cried, encouraged me to seek more medical attention than I would have on my own, and just generally been awesome, all while working full-time. I am not fun to live with right now, and I'm so blessed to have a man who has risen to his promise to me before God and our family and friends of "in sickness and in health."

okay, back to you

After yesterday's post, I got some very kind and encouraging comments. Thanks, ladies. I'm hoping things will change once my pelvic belt arrives from Mars Freaking New Zealand. It remains to be seen if Flight of the Conchords aren't the only awesome import from that lovely, but terribly, ridiculously far away country.

In the spirit of folks leaving kind comments, here are two places you should check out that aren't in my blogroll over to the right. One belongs to a lovely woman named Emilie who has two gorgeous young sons, is an excellent writer, and happens to be struggling right now with invasive, fast growing cancer. I can't even remember how exactly I found this blog, but I know that Emilie is an amazing person.

The other blog you should spend some time with is that of Matt, Liz, & Madeline. Matt & Liz were overjoyed at the birth of their first daughter several weeks premature after 5 weeks of bed rest for Liz. While she was getting ready to leave her hospital room the next day to hold her daughter for the first time, Liz went unconscious and passed away suddenly from an embolism. Matt has done a phenomenal job paying tribute to his lovely wife and documenting his process learning fatherhood on his own. It's not an easy blog to read, given how tragic the circumstances surrounding its development - but I promise you'll come away with compassion and awe of this man's love for his wife and daughter; AND of the many, many strangers who've sent Matt & Madeline gifts and notes, which he lovingly posts photos of as he receives them. And if something good can come out of something so horrific, then I can be sure God's still working in the world.

Not that I can have much doubt - last night I was in tears because of this pain, and Timon began rubbing my feet, and Henry snuggled up to me and told me it was okay. *sigh*

hesitant

I've been hesitant to complain to many people about this pregnancy, particularly on this blog because I know some of my readers are amazing ladies who've struggled far more than I have to get and stay pregnant. Because it took me a bit of time to get pregnant this time I am really conscious of how blessed I am to even have the opportunity to feel the discomforts of pregnancy. To get the result of a sweet baby, there are emotional and physical challenges women have to accept. I get it, I really do.

And so when most people ask me how I'm doing, I say that I'm okay, a little uncomfortable, tired sometimes... blah, blah, blah. For someone who wanted so badly to have a baby, why on earth would I complain about any part of the process required to get there?

But this pain I'm having is not normal. Pulling and tugging, sometimes sharp pains in the sides of the abdomen are normal. Constant bone and joint pain in the pelvis is NOT. Over the last two weeks, and particularly in the last three days I've had increasingly terrible pain in my pelvis, the result of what is probably SPD. (Please click to read more.) I can't sit upright, roll over in bed, separate my legs, lift only one leg, or get up from laying down without serious, awful pain. This is not exactly common in pregnancy but it's not totally rare, either. The only remedy my OB suggested was a support belt (I'm sure my already tight clothing and tendency to be hot will LOVE having another layer underneath). Other information I've read suggests chiropractic care, which of COURSE my insurance does not cover.

It's hard to admit that my body is failing SO early in this pregnancy. 16 weeks are left, and if I feel this poor or worse until September I will be at my wits end. I have so much left to do this summer with the youth, some of which requires me to be active. The only somewhat comfortable position at this point is semi-reclined on the couch. Despite my desires for a breezy pregnancy full of puppies and sunshine, I'm already pretty discouraged. And then I think of my internet and real-life friends who've had so many struggles and losses, and oh my stars, I have to SHUT UP about me, me, me.

16 week (or so) appt

Last Thursday was my sort of 16 week OB appointment. I say sort of because I'm pretty sure they're pushing my due date 5 days earlier than it's supposed to be. It's no real big deal because babies come when they want and it could really be anytime in September that s/he arrives. All was well - we heard a good heartbeat (152bpm) and I still haven't gained anything. I don't expect that to continue much longer. I met the last doctor in the practice, the only one I hadn't met yet and she seems very nice. The big news is that I'll have my long ultrasound/anatomy scan on April 10, sooner than I thought; and we'll find out the gender then! We did not find out what Henry was until he was born. I knew the whole time though that he was a he - I just sensed it from the beginning. You would have had to pick me up off the floor if the midwife had told me it was a girl. But this time I have really NO clue. We're finding out this time just to have a different experience. It's still a surprise - it's just coming sooner than September. And for people who are assuming I want a girl because I already have a boy, that is completely false. Of course I'd love to have a daughter - just one reason for that is how much fun I had this weekend with my mom, grandmother and aunt here to visit - but I also LOVE the idea of having brothers. Either way, Timon and I are totally fine. It's Henry who'll have to get used to the idea of a sister if that's the case - he is utterly convinced that this baby is a boy and he wants a brother. We'll bring him to the ultrasound and hope he reacts well to whatever is revealed, if anything. It's certainly possible that s/he prefers to be modest. And it's likely that this will be the final ultrasound for this pregnancy. *sob*

In other news, I have in the last 18 hours come down with a brutal chest cold - fever, cough, congestion, etc. It's really nice. I'm glad it waited until my visiting family left, but I wish it hadn't come at all! I'm staying on the couch today although I may venture out to the store for some Sudafed here in a little bit. Another good part is that it's taken my mind off the ridiculously awful heartburn I'd been having for the past couple of days. Gotta love these parts of pregnancy!

Make sure to vote in the new poll! It will stay open until the morning of the ultrasound.

dearest father...

Hi, Dad -

Remember all those years ago how we all laughed when you sneezed really hard and threw your back out? You were in a lot of pain and all we did was think it was ridiculous that something as silly as a good sneeze caused all that trouble?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if I knew just how easy it was to have a sneeze throw out your back, I might not have laughed at your misfortune.

Sorry, and I love you very much.

Maresi

16 until 30

I bet you're all wondering why you are just seeing this post now, on November 13, instead of the 12th like it says above on the posting date... it's because during Henry's illness we have experienced a time warp - and I'm writing to you from the distant future. It also might be attributable to the magic of the internet, allowing me to change the date at will. At any rate, I've made it appear that I've fulfilled my daily posting duties.

Oh yeah, and Henry has an ear infection (antibiotics), wheezing cough (nebulizer/albuterol and phenergan w/codeine) and fever (tylenol/ibuprofen). At least the drug companies and pharmacies have their piece of us.

See you "tomorrow".

17 until 30

Let the wheezing/breathing treatments/snot nose/fever/coughing/drippy eyes/low appetite begin! Henry's first sick of Slightly Less Hot '07 (known elsewhere in the country as "Fall") has arrived and he's still going strong. He's currently yawning big as he wails on hit makeshift keytar to "When The Saints Go Marching In". He just told me, "Watch this rock-and-roll, Mommy!" It's a day at home for him tomorrow, I think. We can play school again, and then we can play "watch Mommy try to get her work done while I look at books." That's a fun game!

(check out the new thanksgiving survey to the right)

miracle cure

every time i take the brace off to get a little air, henry asks, "you hand all better now, mommy?"

i wish, kid.

(you know you're desperate when you're taking pics for your blog with your camera phone.

"I think you ruined my phone when you made me that camera phone. And my camera." -Jemaine, FOTC)

coming attraction ***updated***

since i'm reduced to typing in a sad, tedious, one-handed manner, forced into an economy of words due to my current hand/wrist/arm pains, i'll be attempting to return to photo posting for the foreseeable future. i've decided i will follow the lead of our alphabet whilst looking for subjects. look for at least letter a, maybe b, tomorrow. who knows, maybe i'll just go wild and crazy and do c as well. you just never can tell what i'm gonna do. keepin' it real.

p.s. apparently steroids don't make me super-buff, neither do they cause be to be 'roid raging... but i am hot flashing and sweating like a... well, like i usually do during the highest heat and humidity of the worst of summer. even with two fans and the a/c on. nice.

**********UPDATE**********
yeah, remember those photos I was gonna post? too bad the camera I was gonna use is MISSING FROM MY WORK DESK. grrrrr.

quick update

typing with one hand, so i'll be brief. not tendinitis, instead carpal tunnel. brace, steroids (at least i'll be super buff) and rest. back to dr. in 2 weeks. ta ta for now.

new feature

Look to the right of the page and you'll see I've added a new feature to the ole' blaaaahhhg. Be sure and take the poll... it will change weekly, so you'll want to come back and see what fascinating aspect of humanity I'm asking my readers (all 4 of you) about. Enjoy! Just keeping it fresh and real for you people.

Oh, and Henry's still got a fever, but on his godfather's orders he has stopped puking (would you go against the godfather?!?). He even had a little breakfast this morning. He slept and stayed dry all night, too. What a trouper.