oh, henry.

I generally think both my children are pretty dang fantastic.  Today Henry did two things that just blew Timon and me away completely. 

He and Maria were fighting over a book and Timon came in and told them that they needed to share, and then said, “Geez, I’m gonna cut the book in half if you can’t share.”  Henry piped up and said “Just like the wise King Solomon did!” and then proceeded to tell us the entire story, using the exact words, from 1 Kings Chapter 3 of the two women that each claimed the baby as her own and Solomon decided to determine which was the real mother by threatening to cut the baby in half.  (If you aren’t familiar with this story, it’s a doozy.  It’s one of those things that makes the Bible so hard for some people to believe.)  We asked him if he learned that in Sunday School and he said no, he had read it in his Bible.  Well, then. 

Later, as I was enjoying a Christmas party with the women’s group from church, Timon asked the kids to wash their hands for dinner.  Apparently there was some mischief in the bathroom, resulting in Maria falling from the stool by the sink and getting a black eye along with a fairly serious cut on her chin.  As Timon was attending to Maria, Henry was very emotional and kept repeating, “That’s my sister!  I don’t want her hurt! That’s my sister!”  *sob* 

That’s why the picture below means so much to me.  That’s why it was worth every single miserable second waiting to conceive Maria.  That’s yet another reason why my heart aches for Amy and her parents.  I love you, Peter and Greta and Katherine and Phil and Amy B. and Courtney and Lee.

xxiv

I love my husband so much.  Do you know that we have been together for over 12 1/2 years now?  Married for 9+ years and two kids later, and he’s still not sick of me.  Even when each of us is acting like a total asshat, even when we’re exhausted and the kids are making us want to run away, we have chosen to stick it out.  Reading TIME magazine’s cover story about marriage got me thinking that if people spent at least the same amount of time planning and preparing for their marriage as they do planning and preparing for their wedding day, many more couples would stay wed.  Marriage is how we learn about selfless love, about how Christ loves us, and about how we are to sacrifice for another to whom we are devoted.  There have been many, many times where I fail to learn these lessons.  Timon has failed sometimes, too.  But when we get it right, when we are quick to apologize with humility, when we swallow our pride and put the other one first, when we are affectionate and demonstrative with our feelings… it’s overwhelmingly awesome.  And I’m writing this down during this season of Thanksgiving so that in the inevitable cold, dark and distant times, I’ll have it to look at to remember what on earth we’re hanging in there for.  Second only to my love for God, Timon is the love of my life.

xiv

My ideal [i.e., completely selfish and indulgent] day:

8:30am: Eyes open, I snuggle back into the covers and go back to sleep.
9:30am: Reawaken to a breakfast served in bed.  Eggs, bacon, toast, OJ, fruit.
10:00am: Shower, dress, have someone fix my hair.
11:00am: Sit on the beach for 2 hours reading and being served Dr. Pepper with pebble ice and Cobb Salad.
1:00pm: Nap on a hammock in a shady spot with a breeze.
2:30pm: Reading books with the kids.
3:30pm: Playing Mexican Train Dominoes with Amy, Katherine, and Anna.
5:00pm: Start watching White Christmas.
6:30pm: Get served a delicious dinner of filet mignon, shrimp, broccoli, and garlic smashed potatoes, with 
        lemon meringue pie for dessert.
8:00pm: Foot rub and neck massage while watching The Black Stallion or The Princess Bride.
10:00pm: In bed with a book [hopefully the newest in the Outlander series].
11:00pm: Sleep.

What?!  It might happen.

vii

Our pastor spoke a couple of weeks ago about not getting what we think we need or desperately want right away.  It got me thinking – what do I want?  What do I think I need, right now?  One of those things I’ve mentioned before is our desire to have more children.  Both Timon and I are from families with three, and we are definitely set on three and probably considering four (whether or not the 4th comes out of my body is open for discussion).  But we are in a holding pattern right now.  Our home is maxed out as far as squeezing people in, and there are no prospects for moving visible on the horizon, mainly because that would involve a job change.

So, we wait on the Lord, and for what he has planned for us.  I have to trust that my body will work properly (HA.) when the timing of everything else is right.   Many people I mention having more children to have already presumed we’re done since we have a boy and a girl, and have already replaced Timon and me, world population-wise.  But there are still a couple of seats empty at the table.

fully aware

October is so weird.  Usually we’re still running our A/C full force until the end but this year we’ve had several days of GORGEOUS warm, breezy, sunny, dry days followed by cool, dry nights.  My happiness level soars to new heights when I can open the windows in my house and actually go outside without sweating uncomfortably. 

Speaking of being uncomfortable, can I tell you how uncomfortable the whole LETS MAKE EVERYTHING PINK SO THAT PEOPLE WILL BE MORE “AWARE” OF BREAST CANCER (AND BUY OUR PINK STUFF) October campaign makes me?  Do people truly still not know that breast cancer exists, and kills people (women and men) every day?  Do we NEED to buy items like this to make us more aware?

Seriously?   And don’t even get me started on THIS, which popped up on Regretsy’s facebook page this morning.  It’s not for the faint-of-heart or prudish, so clicker beware.

My cousin Carmine made a great point last night on facebook about that ridiculous status update we’ve all been seeing about where women put their purses.  I know it’s meant to be a funny way of promoting awareness, like how everyone posted their bra colors last year.  That was ridiculous, too.  So this morning he put up a link to a breast self-exam diagram, and I shared it on my page, too.  And here it is, in case you have never seen one, or have forgotten how.  I have decided to ignore the research that says self-exams are not effective, as well as that which says mammograms shouldn’t be done on women younger than 50.  I myself have found lumps on more than one occasion (all non-cancerous) through self-exams that I’ve been doing since I was in college.  When I was 21 I had a lump removed. 

• Know your family history of cancer, and share it completely with your doctor.
• Do monthly self-exams (this is particularly helpful if, like me, you have lumps that appear periodically.  You’ll learn to tell the difference between something that’s typical for you and something that’s unusual and bears further testing).
• Don’t ignore your gut telling you that you should be checked out.

Doing these three things above will do a hell of a lot more to solve the problem of breast cancer than buying a pink swiffer.

we laughed, we cried, etc.

In case you need a good cry, listen/watch this song by Steven Curtis Chapman.  His daughter was killed in an accident last year.  Her name was Maria.  This song pierces me and scares me and gives me hope and it's gorgeous. 

Now, if laughs are all you're after, check this one out.  This video reveals aspects of my children's personalities that are very interesting. 

smacked

I've been smacked right in the face by a few things lately. 

No, not by hands or doors or tree branches (although one did try to grab a hunk of my hair yesterday walking Henry home from school).

Stories I've experienced lately have just whacked me out of my senses - stories of birth (Nella Cordelia), healing (NieNie), and amazement; last night we watched From The Earth To The Moon, episode four.  Did you know that during their radio transmission after the astronauts on Apollo 8 rounded the moon for the 9th time, they read the story of creation from Genesis?  It just smacked me, right in the face. 

I guess I don't expect these stories to smack anyone else.  But I had to share, in case you run into these things and get smacked too.

first world

Along with my job come some interesting opportunities – today I was asked to run dvds and powerpoint for a Mission Study on Sudan for the women’s group at the church.  Several other church’s women’s groups were there as well.  I’ve read a book about the Lost Boys of Sudan before and was pretty familiar with just how horrific the situation is and has been there for essentially forever.  Barnabas, one of the Lost Boys, lives in the northern part of our county in community with about 20 other refugees and came to speak to us.  I kept thinking how amazing it was that one of these people I’ve only read about in abstraction and who survived such insane conditions was standing in front of me, looking healthy and having accomplished so much.

Meanwhile across the room there was a woman from another church who’d been clearly perturbed all morning at each woman who didn’t use a microphone properly.  She’d been making faces and huffing and puffing at these poor ladies.  I just kept thinking what a first world “problem” this was to be upset about.  So, to sum up, it reminded me of this quotation I read some time ago, from preacher Tony Campolo (he used to occasionally open sermons this way):

"I have three things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a s--t. What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said s--t than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night."

incredible (now with even more incredibleness)

• I just discovered a singer/songwriter named JJ Heller.  This girl is OFF.THE.HOOK amazing.   I mean, I feel like I did when I heard downhere for the first time.  If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know this is a V. Big Deal. 
  
  
• I got my first PR pitch email (apparently generated from a post over at the photoblog).  Most big-time bloggers get dozens of these a week, so it’s not surprising that I haven’t gotten any before.  I just laughed at their proposition, and wondered why on earth they picked me, a blogger with less than 2 dozen subscribers and just over 200 unique readers?
  
  
• I revealed my life plan for the next couple of years in this photoblog post.  More than one person thought this photo meant that I was pregnant.  NO.  NOT EVEN A LITTLE.  After my fantastic birth experience and subsequent awakening to the reality that is today’s obstetrics method and practice, I have decided that I would like to be a doula.  I want to help people have the best birth they possibly can.  I want to support women in regaining ownership of their bodies.  I want to shower families with love as they experience one of the biggest moments in their lives. 
  I’m not quitting my job – this will be a career that takes several years to get going, and so I’m committed to staying put where I am until God says “HEY, IT’S TIME.” and then I’ll make the change.  It feels so right – today I actually cried as I read in my book the positive things a birth partner or doula can say to the laboring mother, as I know there are countless women who never have someone say to her what an amazing work she is doing.  This is shameful.  I can’t wait to correct this, for even a few women.
  
  
• Seriously. JJ Heller.  I can hardly concentrate on typing this blog post as I have her album playing and it’s THAT.GOOD.  GAH.  
  
  ****EDITED TO ADD****
  I'm listening to her song "Your Hands" right now - the lyrics are pretty appropriate as we all remember those Haitian souls, both those on earth and those gone on:

When my world is shaking, HEAVEN STANDS.  When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands.

Amen, and amen.

fifth

THANKS to my sister-in-law Amy for answering the call for questions so that I'd have something to post!

What were you doing 10 years ago at this point in your life?

Let's see... 10 years ago, I was in the midst of student teaching in my last year of college. I was teaching middle school band at a great school in northern Virginia. My mentor teacher was very experienced and very good at his job. I guess it speaks to how he thought of me and trusted his classes to me that he took A LOT of sick days that year. I was essentially an unpaid sub, although the school had to hire an official sub to sit in the room with me while I taught the kids. It was a great experience. I could have stayed there to work the following year - the assistant band director was retiring and they told me they'd have hired me. Too bad I was moving south to be with my man...

Did you expect to be where you are now?

NO! If you'd told me while I was student teaching that I'd have been away from teaching music for these past 9 years, that I'd be a YOUTH PASTOR of all things, I'd have scoffed! God has surprised me with every move he's made in my life and I fully expect him to continue to do so. I am not surprised that I'm married with children. I am SHOCKED that I live in Florida and have for the past 6 1/2 years! I am not a fan of heat! Why do I live here?!?

If there is something major in your life that you could do differently what would it be?

I wish I would have saved money more when I was younger and single. Realizing that even though we've worked REALLY FREAKING HARD at eliminating all our debt and building up our savings over the past 4 years, it might all disappear due to some upcoming events that I can't really go into here is making me so mad. If I'd been this disciplined earlier in my life, we might not be in as tight a spot as we are now. OR, I'd have been more studious in Math and Science, since all of the sudden I've found myself wanting to someday become a Certified Nurse Midwife - but I know much of the coursework would be very difficult for me. Much more importantly, I wish I had spent more years following Jesus with my heart and life. I'm eternally glad God is so welcoming to sinners and those with hard hearts.

tender-hooks (tenter-hooks? whatever.)

That's how I feel these days. I wait for the other shoe to drop, the ax to fall, the stuff to hit the fan. Right now my attorney is handling the traffic ticket, the insurance is (I hope) handling the property and bodily injury liability claims. My body is in a constant state of tension. Occasionally my mind allows itself to function normally, like a person who is capable, cheerful, and not in a CONSTANT STATE OF PANIC. But then I move my body and it all comes flooding back. The lights, the van in front of me, the BAM of the Cadillac hitting me. I relive my last lawsuit, remember the day I got served with papers the day after Christmas on our way out the door to the airport demanding $200,000 of me. I can't come through THE INTERSECTION in the same direction as I was going that night, not even when someone else is driving.

Yes, I've talked it out with people - OVER AND OVER until if I have to tell the story one more time I'll shriek. Yes, I practice deep breathing, relaxation and prayer. Yes, I've taken more Unisom than I'd like in an effort to sleep more deeply and restoratively. (Never more than 2-3 times a week.) Yes, I have a feeling it's going to take a very long time to feel free of the fear and anxiety that's taken root.

We went to a soul-rocking concert on Saturday night. I've been glad to listen to this song on repeat since then. All I need is a sunrise, just a moment of dawn.



(I know my more emotional posts really make some of you, if you're still here, uncomfortable. I won't say I'm sorry about that.)

Firsts

1. Who was your first prom date?
Brian D. I asked him. It wasn't a good time.

2. Do you still talk to your first love?
Talk? No. Occasionally he updates his FB status and I see it, but we don't communicate in any meaningful way.

3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
Peach Schnapps

4. What was your first job?
I guess it was babysitting, but my first job that required a W-4 form was at the PVGS, recently closed. *shudder*

5. What was your first car?
The first car I drove regularly was a 1983 Chevrolet Caprice Classic, known as "the boat."

6. Who was the first person to text you today?
Timon.

7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
Timon.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Coffin.

9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane?
Arkansas? Texas? Mom, help me out here.

10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?
Melanie, and we'll talk someday in heaven, I hope. She and her 3 year old daughter died in a car accident in 2000.

11. Where was your first sleepover?
Either at Melanie's or at Anni's, I imagine.

12. Who was the first person you talked to today?
Maria.

13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time?
Believe it or not, I've only been in one wedding, ever - my sister's, in 2004.

14. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Read a few pages of my book.

15. What was the first concert you went to?
Probably a church concert, or my brother's elementary school band concert. If we're talking a rock concert with famous people, well then it would be Dave Matthews Band in 1996.

16. First tattoo?
Haven't gotten it yet - but SOON. (Yes, Mom - really.)

17. First piercing?
Ears - my auntie took me when I was 8 down to Frank's.

18. First foreign country you went to?
Canada.

19. First movie you remember seeing?
Karate Kid, in the theatre.

20. What state (province) did you first live in?
Connecticut.

21. Who was your first room mate?
My brother, then my sister, then Anne P. at SU.

22. When was your first detention?
I only got one, in 11th grade, for talking back to my gym teacher - a person who did not appreciate sass even a little bit.

23. When was your first kiss?
Colin D. on the band trip to NYC in 7th grade.

24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance?
To play piano, for real this time.

25. Who will be the next person to post this?
I have no idea. I can't imagine I have many readers left!

this day

I know life has to go on; that we have to function as humans, as Americans, as responsible adults. We can't sit paralyzed in our grief. But I just really believe that there must be more of a way to mark this day in the rest of the country. I'm sitting here alternating between being sad that more of an effort hasn't been made to do so and mad that my AOL email has a header right now telling us that it's "Free Chocolate Friday", as if getting a free pack of freaking M&Ms is the most important thing to remember today. Yes, it's been designated a National Day of Service, but how about giving people a paid holiday so that they can actually go do something for someone else without losing a day's pay or fearing for their jobs? How about schools taking all the students on a field trip to their local fire and police stations, or military bases with posters and banners to thank our service people? I think our getting back into the routine as a country has made a lot of people outside NYC, Shanksville, and D.C. (or who didn't lose a friend or relative) forget and/or minimize the significance of this day. And so, I am all for the idea of stepping out of the routine to take back this day as something good.

Every year it's a blessing to hear my cousin's thoughts on the matter - she lives in NJ and works in NYC, very close to Ground Zero. Today is no exception. Thanks, Amy.

I think in this situation a haiku or two are necessary.

Maria is there
I'm here; hands, eyes, attention
Free to do my work

BUT

Phantom limb syndrome
Isn't just in amputees
It's in Mommies, too

Hate. Love.

Hate is a pretty strong word that names a very strong emotion. I catch myself using it carelessly - saying "Ooooh, I hate that!" when I'm talking about something minor and dumb. I have been thinking over the past month or so that I need to reserve it for the serious stuff - hopefully there aren't many occasions that truly warrant it. Today, sadly is one of them.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I hate that April 9th means anything more than it's the day after April 8th and the day before April 10th. I hate the powers and evils of drug addiction. I hate heroin. I hate how my cousin's life was cut short. I hate that his sister doesn't have a living brother. I hate that his parents lost their son. I hate that we didn't have more time. I hate that I wasn't a very good cousin and let distance and whatever else keep me out of contact. I hate that we're now 13 instead of 14 cousins. I hate that I have to clarify with Henry that I'm talking about his friend Gregory or my cousin Gregory in heaven. I hate that Amy and her parents or any of us that love Greg have to even think about, let alone LIVE, a lifetime without him.

The only thing to overcome hate is love. Love your family, friends, neighbors, enemies, and the strangers you meet, please. Do it today, and for the rest of your days- for only God knows how many they will number.

"More Love" - Dixie Chicks
I'm so close to you baby
But I'm so far away
There's a silence between us
And there's so much to say
You're my strength, you're my weakness
You're my faith, you're my doubt
We gotta meet in the middle
To work this thing out

More love, I can hear our hearts cryin'
More love, I know that's all we need
More love, to flow in between us
To take us and hold us and lift us above
If there's ever an answer
It's more love

We're afraid to be idle
So we fill up the days
We run on the treadmill
Keep slavin' away 'til there's no time for talkin'
About trouble in mind
And the doors are all closed
Between your heart and mine

More love, I can hear our hearts cryin'
More love, I know that's all we need
More love, to flow in between us
To take us and hold us and lift us above
If there's ever an answer
It's more love

Just look out around us
People fightin' their wars
They think they'll be happy
When they've settled their scores
Let's lay down our weapons
That hold us apart
Be still for just a minute
Try to open our hearts

More love, I can hear our hearts cryin'
More love, I know that's all we need
More love, to flow in between us
To take us and hold us and lift us above
If there's ever an answer
It's more love

warming up

I put in a CD a few minutes ago, one I haven't listened to in probably a year or so. I am singing along, coughing in between songs still, but it feels good to give these old vocal folds a decent workout. Sunday morning the praise band slammed a few of my favorite songs, but none were too challenging on my still healing throat. What a difference a few years makes - in May 2000, I stood terrified to sing my first and only vocal jury... stomach full of knots and palms leaving sweat prints on the curve of the piano as I hung on for dear life. I wasn't supposed to be a singer. Turns out I am one, and it feels good. Sunday will bring a solo, and I'm ready.

interview, amy edition

Soooo, Amy came through with some whopper interview questions that I'm happy to answer for all of you. She writes killer Lost reviews every Thursday, and if you watch Lost you should totally check out her blog!

1. If you were auditioning for American Idol and had one chance to prove yourself with a lasting first impression, what song would you sing?
Protest To Praise, by Downhere. It's my favorite song of all time and it lays great in my range. And if I did a good enough job, maybe the country would start to realize how awesome Downhere is.

2. Is it difficult to balance your work and personal/family life, when they are so closely intertwined in your case?
I've set some pretty good boundaries at work so that I don't fall victim to the common challenges facing youth pastors - not spending enough time at home is the number one reason why those in youth ministry end up leaving that work. But you're right - sometimes I see very little difference between work and personal/family life. Living across the street in a church-owned home doesn't help. But I'm not unhappy with the balance. I sometimes wish I was a stay-at-home mom, and other times I look forward to when Maria's in full-time childcare so that I can more easily focus on my job.

3. What is your favorite way to spend a lazy Saturday morning?
Sleeping in (or waking up and then falling back asleep - how delicious!), reading a good book, and not having someone with the wiggles laying beside me.

4. Please recite from memory (no cheating, not that you need to) three favorite lines from the Princess Bride.
How can I possibly narrow it to three?!? SIGH. Ok, I'll try.
a) "Do you want me to send you back to where you were?!? UNEMPLOYED, in GREENLAND?!?"
b) "Give us the gatekey." "I... have no gatekey." "Fezzik, tear his arms off." "Oh, you mean this gatekey."
c) "It's probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night... through eel-infested waters."

5. If you had just one entire day free of responsibilities and limitations (Timon and the kids are otherwise occupied; unlimited money and resources at your disposal), where would you go and how would you spend the day?
I'd fly somewhere north, go for a walk in the snow with my friends Chad and Emily, eat a delicious lunch and have a nap while on the plane to pick up Kat and Amy, fly back to a remote beach and lay out all afternoon while playing board games, go out to dinner and then get into my comfortable bed with my kids and husband to read stories before falling asleep into a deep, deep slumber.

6. What's the most challenging thing about being mom to two kids, rather than just one? The most rewarding thing?
The most challenging thing is realizing that we're starting over with all the skills Henry's acquired over the past nearly 5 years... feeding herself, potty training, self-dressing, etc. We had gotten REALLY lazy since Henry had gotten so independent. The most rewarding thing? Watching another little person that Timon and I brought into the world grow and change. And I'm SO glad to have a daughter and a son.

7. Name one person, outside of your family, who had a part in shaping you into the person you are today.
Chad. He befriended us and encouraged me in my walk with God, supported me as a youth volunteer, and left me a job opening. He also makes me think and laugh - two of my favorite things.

8. You've won a $1000 shopping spree to the store of your choosing. What store do you choose?
Probably Target. You can get like everything there!

9. When are you moving northward and can it please be within a maximum two hour drive from Jersey City? Thanks.
As soon as I can.

10 Who is your favorite character on LOST? It's Sayid, isn't it? ISN'T IT?!?
No. While I do love Sayid and his ability to break someone's neck with his bare feet, my favorite character is Desmond, or as I like to call him, Jesus-Desmond. (The same actor played Jesus in The Gospel of John.)

nineteen

Last week the youth wrote questions on little slips of paper. Here's all the ones I got asking about me and my answers to them. Notes to explain stuff are in { }s. (Hi, Amber! Thanks for reading! Now, go do your homework!)

1. “How many somersaults can you do in a row?”

In the water, probably 2 or 3. On land, probably only one, but I will spare you the demonstration. {Unlike the time I attempted to demonstrate a pushup when I was heavily pregnant with Henry. Remember that one, Chad? Ridiculous. But it might explain this.}

2. “Where were you born?”

I was born in Hartford, Connecticut.

3. “What’s your favorite ice cream?”

Breyer’s Coffee

4. “How do you feel about kitties?”

I can take or leave kitties. Not really a huge fan, but I’m not steering into them with my car, either.

5. “Why do you love us?” {meaning the youth}

Because I know that God created you, that he loves you, and that you are worthy of love. I also know that many of you feel unloved by a lot of the people in your lives, and I want to try to cancel out at least some of those negative feelings. I am SO glad at least one of you feels loved by me, and I want you all to know that I really, really do love you. Even when you act like idiots. {see example here}

6. “How many children do you have?” and “Do you think you would have another Baby?”

I have two children, Henry who’s four and a half, and Maria who’s two and a half months. I don’t think our family is complete yet, but it will be a while before we have another baby.

7. “Why did you decide to paint the walls green and blue?”

I think the colors that the youth, Matt, and I chose are very soothing. Plus they’re much more interesting than white and gray, like they were before. {talking about the youth room here}

8. “When are you getting your tattoo?”

Probably in a couple of months. I am committed to getting one, on my left wrist, of a laurel wreath and a cross for Victory in Jesus. {I told myself if I gave birth naturally I'd get a tattoo, and told the kids about it.}

9. “Have you ever dyed your hair a funky color?”

Yes, if you count sort of purple as funky. Nothing like Aubrey though. {Aubrey is a youth group member who frequently bleaches her hair white and then lays pink, purple, or green over top. It's SO cool, seriously; it's like the brightest color you've ever seen.}

10. “What is the most outrageous thing you have done?”

I haven’t done much that’s outrageous. Unless you count that time I skydived onto the peak of Mount Everest and then had to climb down without a jacket. That was crazy. {I never really did that.} {Also, I'm exceptionally boring.}

11. “If you could turn back time to relive a good moment what moment would it be?”

Oh, there’s SO many. Probably any time that I’ve had a really good laugh. I’d love to relive some of the funniest times when I was in college, I’d love to remember more clearly Henry’s babyhood. I wish I could relive my wedding day. Also, the first time I heard Mack {one of the youth} imitate Bill Cosby.

twelve

Someday, in a little over a decade, I'll have at least two teenage children. I'll be in my *GASP* ...FORTIES.
1. I hope we'll own a home.
2. I hope we'll have a great church family.
3. I hope we'll live closer to some family members, or maybe, possibly, closer to some of our favorite people.
4. I hope that I will have finally read all of Dombey & Son.
5. I hope I'll have figured out what to do with my hair.
6. I actually hope I'll have some gray hair, so I can stop getting comments about how I look like a teenager.
7. I hope my children will honor God and their parents with their behavior and decisions.
8. I hope my husband and I will have continued to discover and delight in even more of each other.
9. I hope I'll have spent more time laughing than crying.
10. I hope downhere will have won a Grammy.
11. I hope more people will start filling their minds with good stuff, instead of junk.
12. I hope that more people in the world will have the opportunity and space to have hopes for themselves.

four

Today Maria is two months old! She celebrated by sleeping from 11pm-5:30am, waking up to eat a little, and is now generally being adorable. After her morning meal and a quick pumping session, I looked outside to see a line already forming at the church for the 2 precincts that vote there. I figured since I wasn't going to be able to sleep much even if I did get back in bed, I'd get dressed and go vote now while Timon was home and the kiddos were sleeping. It was a smart choice. I was about 30th in line and my ballot was the 25th recorded today. This is my 4th time voting in a presidential election. My uncle John was eager to take me to town hall soon after I turned 18 in 1995 (gosh, I'm old!) to register to vote. I was a snot about it and didn't appreciate what he was doing at the time. (Who, me? A rude teenager? NO! Get out of town!)

Ours is a mixed political household - my vote this morning just cancels out Timon's. Many people who I love and respect (my husband, in-laws, cousins, etc) hold different political beliefs than I do. What makes this country great is that it's okay for it to be that way. What makes my loved ones great is that we can all still have a good time, even while we disagree. I think LadyB said it best yesterday when she wrote this:

"I'm also done with receiving forwards about how horrible Candidate X or Y is. I like to think that we all live by the most important rule: love thy neighbor. That means something different for everyone, I know. But really, at the end of the day, how can we best show our love for each other? Is that donating to a food pantry, donating our time to a group we belong to, or giving away things we no longer use? Maybe it's picking up the phone and giving a friend a call to say hello. Maybe it's turning off the computer and spending time with our partner or children. Maybe it's not forwarding a hateful and prejudiced email about Candidate X or Y. Maybe it's living our lives in a way where we're giving of our talents without keeping the focus on our own needs. Maybe it's getting out tomorrow and voting for the person we feel our values most align with. Maybe it's overlooking the differences we have with our family and friends, instead focusing on the love we share and appreciating each other for who we are. Maybe it's not focusing on someone else's faults, but instead trying to improve our own downfalls. Whatever "love they neighbor" means to you, it doesn't matter. Just do it. Just love your neighbor and try to lose the focus so many of us (including me) has on ourselves."

Amen, sister.

(If you have a minute - perhaps while standing in line to vote - please pray for my mom who is having surgery today at 1pm; and for Henry, who still has fever of 102.5 this morning and is home from school again. Thanks...)