I am so terribly sorry for what you're about to read. I truly, truly wish that I had other things to be thinking and posting about. If you're tired of the sob story already, I'll understand if you close the page right now.
If you've stuck around then here goes: If possible, the pain is worse. Driving has become agony. I was in tears all the way to and from the OB's office today. I spent nearly my entire visit in tears. Just when I'd finally gotten myself together and was on my way out of the office, I ran into the sweet nurse who has been kind enough to listen to me when I request that my blood be drawn from my left hand only since any other spot leaves terrible bruising. She is also the one who returns the non-urgent calls to patients like me. She asked if I was okay and I lost it again.
I left the doctor with a confirmation of my SPD self-diagnosis. She gave me a prescription for Vicodin which is totally terrifying to me, despite her reassurances that it's safe. I also don't have a good track record with taking narcotics - Oxycodone left me completely NUTS, made me nauseated, and gave me 2 nights of insomnia. If that doesn't give me some good relief, we will probably explore some physical therapy.
I'm much more concerned with how this will affect the delivery of the baby - I will likely have limited birthing positions available vaginally, and although I was planning on avoiding it, an epidural might mask the pain to where I don't notice if I'm being positioned in a way that could cause serious damage to my pelvis. However, I REALLY REALLY REALLY DO NOT WANT A C-SECTION. (Please, I KNOW that women have them everyday and are FINE. I don't need to be reminded.) This is all stuff I'll have to work through emotionally as the next weeks go by. If you pray, and I hope you do, prayers for physical and emotional healing are really needed right now.
I want to end this by saying that my husband has been so amazing. He has washed every dish, done all of Henry's transportation, gotten up repeatedly to help me get up off the couch (just because I'm in pain doesn't mean my frequent bathroom trips are in any way reduced), rubbed my feet, held me while I cried, encouraged me to seek more medical attention than I would have on my own, and just generally been awesome, all while working full-time. I am not fun to live with right now, and I'm so blessed to have a man who has risen to his promise to me before God and our family and friends of "in sickness and in health."
If you've stuck around then here goes: If possible, the pain is worse. Driving has become agony. I was in tears all the way to and from the OB's office today. I spent nearly my entire visit in tears. Just when I'd finally gotten myself together and was on my way out of the office, I ran into the sweet nurse who has been kind enough to listen to me when I request that my blood be drawn from my left hand only since any other spot leaves terrible bruising. She is also the one who returns the non-urgent calls to patients like me. She asked if I was okay and I lost it again.
I left the doctor with a confirmation of my SPD self-diagnosis. She gave me a prescription for Vicodin which is totally terrifying to me, despite her reassurances that it's safe. I also don't have a good track record with taking narcotics - Oxycodone left me completely NUTS, made me nauseated, and gave me 2 nights of insomnia. If that doesn't give me some good relief, we will probably explore some physical therapy.
I'm much more concerned with how this will affect the delivery of the baby - I will likely have limited birthing positions available vaginally, and although I was planning on avoiding it, an epidural might mask the pain to where I don't notice if I'm being positioned in a way that could cause serious damage to my pelvis. However, I REALLY REALLY REALLY DO NOT WANT A C-SECTION. (Please, I KNOW that women have them everyday and are FINE. I don't need to be reminded.) This is all stuff I'll have to work through emotionally as the next weeks go by. If you pray, and I hope you do, prayers for physical and emotional healing are really needed right now.
I want to end this by saying that my husband has been so amazing. He has washed every dish, done all of Henry's transportation, gotten up repeatedly to help me get up off the couch (just because I'm in pain doesn't mean my frequent bathroom trips are in any way reduced), rubbed my feet, held me while I cried, encouraged me to seek more medical attention than I would have on my own, and just generally been awesome, all while working full-time. I am not fun to live with right now, and I'm so blessed to have a man who has risen to his promise to me before God and our family and friends of "in sickness and in health."
5 comments:
Blog hopping in today. That sounds just awful and I'm really sorry you have to deal with it. I wouldn't worry about using the blog to complain a bit too! We are an understanding bunch in blogland! I hope the meds help and don't make you too loopy.
That is really awful. I am so sorry.
Go ahead and whine away. You deserve to be allowed to whine because you do not deserve the pain!
I hope something works for you soon and you get some relief.
I'm glad you have this outlet. And I'm always here for you if you want to talk, too. Even if you just need to vent or cry to someone - heaven knows you are always there for me for that!
And OF COURSE I will bring the new camera in July! It's a Nikon D60 and it's loads of fun.
Love you!
I am so, so sorry that you're in so much pain. And trying to handle the emotional issues surrounding the possible birth plan repurcussions on top of it. That's just terrible. To the extent you can (impossible, I know), try to put off dealing with the emotional/birth plan-related aspects until you know if you can get the pain under control -- I know I find it a lot harder to deal with anything else when in a lot of pain, emotionally or physically.
Many, many prayers heading your way. I hope the Vicodin helps!
Our prayers are with you! I hope you find some relief from this (to say the least) distracting pain so that you can enjoy your pregnancy more! No need to worry about apologizing for grumbling about the valleys of this, we all hear loud and clear your joy in the peaks and your gratefulness of big picture!
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