Well, thanks for all the feedback, and for the encouragement to keep going in telling what's turning out to be a mini-series length... um, series. Yeah. I'll try to wrap it up today, so this might be a smidge longer than the others. I don't get why the fonts are all crazy in this post. I've given up on trying to decipher Blogger's inner workings.
Okay, when we last saw our heroine she was in a state of perpetual panic, clinging to the edge of sanity with her increasingly weak grip. That week between appointments was a looooooong one. I had read a book that encouraged us to tell people, even when facing difficulties and possible miscarriage, so that we'd have strong support if the worst did happen. That really resonated with us and so we told our parents and closest friends that we were expecting and what we had been going through. It felt good to talk about it. On Thursday of that week, I very sadly read about the loss of a baby on one of the blogs I frequent. Later that night I got a phone call from a friend of ours (who didn't yet know we were pregnant) that they too experienced a miscarriage that day. She was 16 weeks but the baby looked like it passed away at just over 12 weeks. I was devastated for them, and (I hope this doesn't seem terribly selfish) it only increased my fears that we would be next.
Somehow we made it to Monday, Feb. 4. Timon came with me, and the first thing they did was get me in the ultrasound room to take a look. Lo and behold, there was out little sea monkey, heart beating away at 171bpm.
Okay, when we last saw our heroine she was in a state of perpetual panic, clinging to the edge of sanity with her increasingly weak grip. That week between appointments was a looooooong one. I had read a book that encouraged us to tell people, even when facing difficulties and possible miscarriage, so that we'd have strong support if the worst did happen. That really resonated with us and so we told our parents and closest friends that we were expecting and what we had been going through. It felt good to talk about it. On Thursday of that week, I very sadly read about the loss of a baby on one of the blogs I frequent. Later that night I got a phone call from a friend of ours (who didn't yet know we were pregnant) that they too experienced a miscarriage that day. She was 16 weeks but the baby looked like it passed away at just over 12 weeks. I was devastated for them, and (I hope this doesn't seem terribly selfish) it only increased my fears that we would be next.
Somehow we made it to Monday, Feb. 4. Timon came with me, and the first thing they did was get me in the ultrasound room to take a look. Lo and behold, there was out little sea monkey, heart beating away at 171bpm.
We relaxed a little. We met that day with the nurse-practitioner and she went through the basic first OB appt. routine - taking my medical history, giving advice, answering questions, and of course, my favorite, the bloodwork. I apparently have shy and/or high-maintenance veins. They don't like to be invaded. I have had more bloodtests in the last month or so than in the rest of my whole 30 years combined. But I'll get to that in a minute.
I felt only slightly more calm after this visit. We still didn't want to tell anyone for fear of the same thing happening to us as happened to our friends. I know it might seem irrational because I've read that after you see the heartbeat, there's only a 5% chance of miscarriage... but like I said, there was no peace about this baby yet. Every twinge I felt and every hour that went by that I wasn't nauseated was agonizing. (You might never understand that desire to feel nauseated - for some reason it was a reassuring sign that I was still pregnant, despite how uncomfortable I was.)
So now, I'd been needle-stuck on 2 visits so far... once for the progesterone level, once (well, actually twice) for the normal initial bloodwork. They have to find veins in my hands to get each precious drop. One of the nurses and I have now developed a fun relationship - we joke that I would be the only person to survive any kind of slashing or stabbing, because I just bleed so darn slow. Grim humor, I realize. But you have to laugh at something, or you'll cry at everything when you're going through something like this. Henry got a weird rash that his pediatrician thought might be 5th disease, which is particularly concerning for pregnant women. So of course I had to get bloodwork (3 vials) to make sure I hadn't been exposed. That was just a few days after my visit on the 4th. Then, for some bizarro reason I still don't understand, my initial bloodwork showed a positive result for Hepatitis B, an STD that I sure didn't test positive for 4 years ago when pregnant with Henry. The health department even called me to tell me this, and the very-sensitive employee really nicely informed me that my husband might have been unfaithful. It never even occurred to her to reassure me that this might be lab error. So I had to get stuck AGAIN for 4 vials this time to do all the necessary retesting. This was just about one week after the 5th disease test. The nurse now laughs at me when she sees me sitting there in the lab (another reason to love my practice, the in-house lab draws) because she knows what whoever happens to be sticking me is in for.
I had the least eventful visit at almost 12 weeks last Friday. I had agreed to do the Nuchal Translucency testing, which measures a fold at the base of the baby's neck and also involves (2 vials this time) of bloodwork - YAY! I don't necessarily feel as if we're at any increased risk for Down's Syndrome which is what they're looking for, but our insurance pays for it, and who am I to turn down another chance to see the baby on the screen? The baby looked WONDERFUL, s/he was jumping around and giving us a great show. You can see that photo in this post. Then I had my blood drawn, was weighed (I've lost a pound) and met with the OB for about 45 seconds. All the HepB retesting came back negative. She was going to try to track down the reason for the positive HepB test with the lab. Turns out that recently the standard quantity of antibodies present required for a positive test was lowered, and they've had increased numbers of false positives. I have to go get one more bloodtest, this time at the major lab because the sample has to be frozen to rule it out once and for all. I'm not worried about this in the slightest.
As you know, we've told everyone now. I'm gradually calming down. It's been nice to enjoy watching my abdomen expand, to have Henry kiss my stomach every chance he gets to say hello to his baby, whom he is CERTAIN is a boy (I haven't gotten a clear vibe yet). I will have a long, hot summer ahead. I consider this minor at the moment, when I realize what the end result will be. Nights are difficult for me with the nausea. I'm definitely in maternity clothes (the second child basically pops out immediately - I feel and look the same today that I did with Henry at 20 weeks). I want to ask you for any prayers you can spare that all will continue to go well. Thanks for sticking with me this far.
I felt only slightly more calm after this visit. We still didn't want to tell anyone for fear of the same thing happening to us as happened to our friends. I know it might seem irrational because I've read that after you see the heartbeat, there's only a 5% chance of miscarriage... but like I said, there was no peace about this baby yet. Every twinge I felt and every hour that went by that I wasn't nauseated was agonizing. (You might never understand that desire to feel nauseated - for some reason it was a reassuring sign that I was still pregnant, despite how uncomfortable I was.)
So now, I'd been needle-stuck on 2 visits so far... once for the progesterone level, once (well, actually twice) for the normal initial bloodwork. They have to find veins in my hands to get each precious drop. One of the nurses and I have now developed a fun relationship - we joke that I would be the only person to survive any kind of slashing or stabbing, because I just bleed so darn slow. Grim humor, I realize. But you have to laugh at something, or you'll cry at everything when you're going through something like this. Henry got a weird rash that his pediatrician thought might be 5th disease, which is particularly concerning for pregnant women. So of course I had to get bloodwork (3 vials) to make sure I hadn't been exposed. That was just a few days after my visit on the 4th. Then, for some bizarro reason I still don't understand, my initial bloodwork showed a positive result for Hepatitis B, an STD that I sure didn't test positive for 4 years ago when pregnant with Henry. The health department even called me to tell me this, and the very-sensitive employee really nicely informed me that my husband might have been unfaithful. It never even occurred to her to reassure me that this might be lab error. So I had to get stuck AGAIN for 4 vials this time to do all the necessary retesting. This was just about one week after the 5th disease test. The nurse now laughs at me when she sees me sitting there in the lab (another reason to love my practice, the in-house lab draws) because she knows what whoever happens to be sticking me is in for.
I had the least eventful visit at almost 12 weeks last Friday. I had agreed to do the Nuchal Translucency testing, which measures a fold at the base of the baby's neck and also involves (2 vials this time) of bloodwork - YAY! I don't necessarily feel as if we're at any increased risk for Down's Syndrome which is what they're looking for, but our insurance pays for it, and who am I to turn down another chance to see the baby on the screen? The baby looked WONDERFUL, s/he was jumping around and giving us a great show. You can see that photo in this post. Then I had my blood drawn, was weighed (I've lost a pound) and met with the OB for about 45 seconds. All the HepB retesting came back negative. She was going to try to track down the reason for the positive HepB test with the lab. Turns out that recently the standard quantity of antibodies present required for a positive test was lowered, and they've had increased numbers of false positives. I have to go get one more bloodtest, this time at the major lab because the sample has to be frozen to rule it out once and for all. I'm not worried about this in the slightest.
As you know, we've told everyone now. I'm gradually calming down. It's been nice to enjoy watching my abdomen expand, to have Henry kiss my stomach every chance he gets to say hello to his baby, whom he is CERTAIN is a boy (I haven't gotten a clear vibe yet). I will have a long, hot summer ahead. I consider this minor at the moment, when I realize what the end result will be. Nights are difficult for me with the nausea. I'm definitely in maternity clothes (the second child basically pops out immediately - I feel and look the same today that I did with Henry at 20 weeks). I want to ask you for any prayers you can spare that all will continue to go well. Thanks for sticking with me this far.
2 comments:
Prayers are always being said for you and your family...but I want to see a baby bump picture!! I love baby bumps. :) Keep us updated on the babys growth...I want to start getting baby GIRL clothing ready for you if and when you need it.
wow, what if we have the same birthday? that would be something.
Post a Comment