Y'all ever read "O"? The Oprah magazine? Normally I think Oprah is a big ole' phony. (Seriously, have you seen the "Oprah's favorite things" show? It's un-frickin-believable.) But, she has this column at the end of the magazine in which she imparts to us little people the grand truths she has discovered along her life's journeys. And in honor of my year of blogging, I'd like to share with you some things I've discovered in the past year that I know for sure.
1. Don't assume you can make it to your next grocery store trip with only 3/4 roll of toilet paper. You can't.
2. When "Little Einsteins" is on, don't try to speak to my son. He is completely hypnotized.
3. There are A LOT of mothers who blog out there. Most of them post well-written interesting essays and adorable photos on their sites. Some REALLY need to go back to 10th grade English with Mr. Krom and get those grammar rules. PLEASE, people! LEARN HOW TO CORRECTLY USE THE WORDS ITS AND IT'S!!
4. Never underestimate how nice you'll feel when your house is the cleanest it's (See that there? The word "it's" stands for "it has". Notice the correct usage.) ever been.
5. It really is kinda funny when your little boy discovers tooting, and how it cracks him up as well.
6. You can buy a lot of expensive toys, or get them as gifts, but your kid is still gonna play with the box it came in or the paper that once wrapped it.
7. The value of baby sign language goes far beyond the cute "look what my genius boy can do!" factor. FAR beyond.
8. Shower curtain liners do not, in fact, come in one size only. Sometimes, like when you buy them at Big K, they are a foot and a half too narrow.
9. As much as you will want to save every single piece of "artwork" your almost three year old ever creates at school or church, the volume of this material will quickly obscure any efforts at cleaning and straightening you attempt. (see number 4)
10. I know FOR SURE that the proper contraction form of "you all" is y'all, NOT ya'll.
11. God's ways are a mystery sometimes. Thank goodness He knows way better than I do about all things, otherwise I'd go nuts trying to explain the unexplainable.
12. And most of all, I know for sure that God sent His Son, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, born of a virgin, laid in a manger, raised by a carpenter, persecuted and put to death by mankind, raised from the dead, ascended to heaven - to save me, you, and every single person alive (and who has ever lived or will ever live) from the darkness of sin and death, and to welcome us into the best kind of eternal relationship, the glory of which we cannot begin to conceive.
1. Don't assume you can make it to your next grocery store trip with only 3/4 roll of toilet paper. You can't.
2. When "Little Einsteins" is on, don't try to speak to my son. He is completely hypnotized.
3. There are A LOT of mothers who blog out there. Most of them post well-written interesting essays and adorable photos on their sites. Some REALLY need to go back to 10th grade English with Mr. Krom and get those grammar rules. PLEASE, people! LEARN HOW TO CORRECTLY USE THE WORDS ITS AND IT'S!!
4. Never underestimate how nice you'll feel when your house is the cleanest it's (See that there? The word "it's" stands for "it has". Notice the correct usage.) ever been.
5. It really is kinda funny when your little boy discovers tooting, and how it cracks him up as well.
6. You can buy a lot of expensive toys, or get them as gifts, but your kid is still gonna play with the box it came in or the paper that once wrapped it.
7. The value of baby sign language goes far beyond the cute "look what my genius boy can do!" factor. FAR beyond.
8. Shower curtain liners do not, in fact, come in one size only. Sometimes, like when you buy them at Big K, they are a foot and a half too narrow.
9. As much as you will want to save every single piece of "artwork" your almost three year old ever creates at school or church, the volume of this material will quickly obscure any efforts at cleaning and straightening you attempt. (see number 4)
10. I know FOR SURE that the proper contraction form of "you all" is y'all, NOT ya'll.
11. God's ways are a mystery sometimes. Thank goodness He knows way better than I do about all things, otherwise I'd go nuts trying to explain the unexplainable.
12. And most of all, I know for sure that God sent His Son, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, born of a virgin, laid in a manger, raised by a carpenter, persecuted and put to death by mankind, raised from the dead, ascended to heaven - to save me, you, and every single person alive (and who has ever lived or will ever live) from the darkness of sin and death, and to welcome us into the best kind of eternal relationship, the glory of which we cannot begin to conceive.
1 comment:
It is just as funny when it is your little girl is announcing her toots during a diaper change and thinks it is just absolutely hilarious when she does.
And as for the proper contraction of "you all", please refer yourself back to number 3 and ask yourself if Mr. Krom EVER used that particular contraction in his life.
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