angry.

You guys, I'm really, really angry.  I'm also very sad.  My friend Jen birthed her baby at only 16 weeks, 5 days early Sunday morning.  Jen is mom to the wonderful Dibits, and also previously had an early miscarriage some years ago.  I have spent hours over the past few days shaking my fists at God for allowing this.  Now, notice I didn't say God caused this.  That's not His style, you know.  But ever since humanity went from perfectly created sinless beings to creatures in a broken relationship with God, our bodies haven't worked as they were designed to all the time.  Babies die before they're on the outside, sweet-as-pie grandmothers get cancer, healthy kids are born to parents that don't want them.  Life isn't perfect any more, and (even though it sounds bizarre to lots of people) I've accepted that as part of the covenant I became part of when Jesus took up residence in my heart. 

One of my favorite parts about being a follower of Jesus is that it's okay to be angry with God.  It's okay to ask questions of Him.  Believe me, one of the first ones on my lips as I enter Heaven's gates will be, "Why all those babies, Lord?"  And I hope I'll be able to understand His answers.  Currently, my earth-bound humanity prevents me from fully understanding one damn thing about Jen's baby, or Amy's baby, or anyone's loss(es).

(Please click on Jen's name above and leave your support for her on her blog.  She is ALWAYS there to uplift others in their times of need, and most richly deserves as much love as the internet can provide.)